Snow!!!

It snowed today! 

The flakes were falling so softly.  It was beautiful to see.  The air was not too cold, and there was next to no wind. 

It has snowed a few times this fall already, but this is the first snow that seems to be really covering the ground.  My busride took a half hour longer, because traffic was really slow due to the slippery roads.  I didn't mind though, because I had a seat, and I just read my book all the way home. 

I love snow. 

Procrastication and Pessimism

Procrastination comes easily.  Too easily.  I put so many things off... for instance, right now I'm putting off going to bed, but instead I'm starting a blog...  There are many, many things I wish I had done by now.  Tree-planting (my knees probably couldn't take it now).  Back to school for the lab tech course (should have done that when the opportunity first came up about six years ago).  Teaching ESL overseas (I've always wanted to live overseas and travel and see more of the world, but I've always been afraid to leave home, family, friends, job, safety, the known - I'm worried I would be too lonely out there, and I worry about what I would miss out on back home). 

I was listening to an old WireTap podcast the other day (check out WireTap http://www.cbc.ca/wiretap/ - I love Jonathan Goldstein.  Check out the archives - I like his older stuff best).  They were reading an excerpt from Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives by David Eagleman http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sum_%28book%29.  In this excerpt from the book - in this perticular afterlife - you are confronted with different versions of yourself.  Versions of yourself who made better decisions - who left their home town three years sooner, who were in the right place at the right time and got a spectacular job, who invested more in love, who were more driven and who didn't give up so easily - and all of these other selves are more successful, and so you end up feeling more than a little bit jealous and irritated by them and their perfect lives.  I identified with this self who runs into these better, more successful selves.  I constantly doubt my decisions and regret many choices I've made in life.  I hope I don't ever have to run into these other selves in any kind of afterlife, with their singing careers, and their careers as lab technologists, and their passports full of stamps, and their lovely home (bought before the prices went up) full of kids and a loving husband.  I doubt I'll ever run into these other selves in an afterlife, but I often run into them in my thoughts...  They're hard to get away from.  

You always regret doing the things you did, and regret not doing the things you didn't do.  So basically, no matter what, you just end up regretting whatever it is you choose in life.  Now there's a pessimist's view on life...  How's that for a blog-opener.  I'm not always like this - I promise.  Welcome to my brain.